You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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