this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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