we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
