dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
we're chasing vodka with high fives
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
