remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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