great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
