forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
