Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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