I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
never play flip cup with pint glasses
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
don't judge my taste in strippers
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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