Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
