I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize