I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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