Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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