You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize