with your own penis?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I forgot how hot balto sounded
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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