just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize