thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
