we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
