have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
do nipples grow back?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
