she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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