so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Randomize
