Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
