We're facebook friends in real life
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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