I think scott just propositioned me for sex
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize