she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
operation harelip BJ is a go
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
