I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
