Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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