she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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