Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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