Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
