New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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