It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
