I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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