So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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