I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
