Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
