what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I love having hate sex.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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