yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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