Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
