**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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