I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
