either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
