Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.

(202): View more from Washington, DC

Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.

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(251): View more from Alabama

How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on

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