I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
