my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
