C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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