Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
