i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
