So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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