I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
