you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My penis needs a shock collar
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
It's not a walk of shame if you run
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
