do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
