Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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