I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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