We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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