it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
