This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
