They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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