There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
