At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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