I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
