In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
